How Much Did You Pay for Her? (Slightly Imperfect)

Endorsements:          

“How Much Did You Pay for Her?” is a much-needed book! Christine Rhyner brings all the hurtful remarks about adoptees and their families into the light. This will be a great tool for parents who are training their kids how to respond to cruel remarks, as well as a tool for clinicians to train families on how to be street smart. (By the way, I cost 57 cents.)

Sherrie Eldridge

author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew,

20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed

The journey of adoption is full of unique challenges, not the least of which are the comments, often well-meaning, of family, friends and even strangers. Christine Rhyner shares her very helpful perspective as an adoptive parent who has experienced these painful comments and invites the reader to apply the biblical principles of grace, forgiveness and peacemaking rather than resentment and bitterness.

Any person who has gone through infertility and has walked the path of adoption will find in Ms. Rhyner’s work both an author who keenly understands the common anguish and hurts that come with the wounding comments of family and friends, as well as useful insights and applications for navigating these from the perspective of biblical principles. Thank you, Christine, for not only acknowledging the offense and pain caused by others, often unknowingly, but leading the reader down the vital path of grace and forgiveness that is often sorely missing in adoption literature.

Jeffrey L. Nitz, LCSW

Vice President of Adoption and Family Services

Bethany Christian Services

Rhyner’s book is a positive paradox of moderation and extremes. Averse to legalism, she is a welcome voice of moderation when it comes to issues of assisted reproductive technology, name-it-and-claim-it theology, and the “just rely on God, not on science” mentality. She brings to her adoption story a balanced view of spiritual warfare, and a modest view of each person’s role in the life of adopted children (we cannot save the world). On the other hand, Rhyner is extreme in her dispensation of grace and forgiveness. She is unrelenting in her desire to understand, rather than react to, the potentially hurtful comments that adoptive parents inevitably hear. Although there is nothing selfish about Rhyner’s quest to extend grace to those around her, the journey is largely about the self. For example, she says, “It humbles me to consider the possibility that the adoption of my children has far more to do with God’s plan for their lives than with my desire to have given birth to them.” She sees her adoption as a tool through which God developed character traits within her. We would all do well to examine our own histories to see how God used them as a tool for fashioning us into His image.

Daniel Nehrbass, Ph.D.

President of Nightlight Christian Adoptions,

Home of the Snowflake® Embryo Adoption program

For adoptive parents (especially those who have adopted internationally), Christine Rhyner’s “How Much Did You Pay For Her?” will come as a welcome source of wisdom and hope for dealing with all the comments, assumptions, and off-base attitudes that adoptive parents must often face. Filled with personal examples, Biblical wisdom, and insights based on real experience, Rhyner leads readers on a journey through various hurts and how to heal and offer forgiveness through each one. I recommend “How Much Did You Pay for Her?” as a valuable resource for those facing the unique challenges and joys of adoption.

Marlo Schalesky

author of Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling

with Infertility

Christine’s book is an excellent and unique resource for anyone that has ever thought about adoption – or ever been a part of a conversation that included the topic of adoption. The questions and topics deal with important and sensitive information in a practical, encouraging and biblical way that can be “conversation starters” by families, individuals and/or study groups. This book will definitely open your eyes to many different aspects of adoption that many people have never considered. I highly recommend this as a resource for anyone involved in the ministry of adoption, foster care and orphan care.

Kevin Burdette

“Hope for 100” Adoption Ministry Coordinator and Minister of Adult Impact

Green Acres Baptist Church, Tyler, TX

I love that Christine has wonderfully put into words many of the thoughts and feelings that we as adoptive parents have shared. Every successful adoption is truly a miracle and even the most well-meaning of our family members ask questions with love, but may minimize the effort and faith that adoption takes. Christine’s strong faith grounds her answers, her family, and ultimately the path that led her to adoption. Excellent book for all families created by adoption.

Mardie Caldwell

is Founder and CEO of Lifetime Adoption Center

with offices in California and Florida